Last weekend, we heard that a young man who was active on various web forums committed suicide by jumping off the balcony of his home. From a little of what I knew of him, he seemed utterly confused, directionless, and living in a world of fantasy and spiritual romanticism. Though initiated by a Guru (a person who manages a temple in Nanganallur) into śrīvidyā upāsanā, he had varied and often distracting interests in a wide array of topics from Sai Baba, Dattātrēya, Tamil Siddhas to Violet Flame and Rudrākṣas and astrology, all of them based on google search. In fact, some unsolicited requests from him to send him “higher” mantras via email ensured that we ignored him for the most part. One of our acquaintances always referred to him as the montage dude as he had an uncanny ability to google a topic and build a piece of writing by picking paragraphs from various websites.
His interest in spiritual pursuit seemed genuine but his approach was tardy and severely lacking in terms of skillful way and the right view. He seemed to live in a world of fantasy where he imagined himself to be in constant conversation with Siddhas and deities and accomplishing superhuman feats, fighting astral battles and this lack of firm grounding seems to have eventually triggered severe depression, also fueled by unemployment and economic issues. It is extremely unfortunate that a valuable life has been lost and unnecessarily. We pray to the lotus feet of Sāmba Paramēśvara enshrined within the resplendent prāsāda, to grant sadgati to this young man and strength to his family to bear this untimely loss.
It is quite disheartening to see the number of spiritual aspirants lately who seem divorced from reality. Their spiritual pursuits seem to leave them incapable of handling even normal day-to-day life in terms of family, livelihood, career, and social interaction. Fantasy and romanticism seem to characterize their upāsanā rather than logic and scientific investigation as taught by ācāryas of the past who were masters of Mīmāmsā, Tarka, Vēdānta and Tantra. What really pains me is the fact that such youngsters are sincere and with good intentions. Needless to say, relying solely on good intentions grants fruit only in folk tales.
When one begins to walk the path of upāsanā, one frequently begins to look for milestones such as bliss, miraculous visions, a puff of smoke, and that sort. Most fail to look for much more important checkpoints such as a calm demeanor, presence of peace and content, replenished levels of physical and mental energy, an unfailing sense of equanimity, and the zeal to deal with any situation with zest and smile. The upāsaka, by the merit of his upāsanā, not only experiences various synchronicities all around him but also is blessed with the awareness to recognize and consciously benefit from them. As Tathāgata states, the true spiritual endeavor cannot be like a blissful narcotic that shields one from reality temporarily or through absorptive states; but rather should facilitate cognition of the true nature of reality, moment to moment, aiding in transformation and transcendence.
If one takes the example of śrīvidyā, its wholesome nature and a balanced attitude towards puruṣārtha catuṣṭaya are easy to notice. One is blessed with physical health, well-being and security through the upāsanā of Mahāgaṇapati. One gains the necessary prajñā and mēdhā shakti to pursue skillful upāsanā through the worship of Lord Dakṣiṇāmūrti. Mātaṅgī makes life an effortless joy through her mesmerizing anugraha-śakti whereas Vārāhī offers her assistance in dealing with the unfavorable through nigraha. The unfolding of Brahmavidyā occurs in three stages, through Bālā, Pañcadaśī, and ṣōḍaśī.
If the upāsanā is skillful and upāsaka is sincere, dēvatā-anugraha is attained doubtlessly.
Many years ago, a great upāsaka from Kuzhalmannam agrahāram in Pālākkāḍ initiated me into the worship of Shūlinī, Sharabha and Vanadurgā. He once recounted his personal experience with dēvatā anugraha. His family traditionally had practiced the upāsanā of a form of Durgā named Ripumāriṇī where Durgā is invoked through a combination of bījas added to the Durgā-sūkta which is recited in four different fashions. Bhagavatī is visualized as holding khaḍga, abhaya-vara mudrās and four severed heads of asuras in her lotus hands. The severed heads represent ripus (foes) of four kinds, those affecting the body (dēha) such as disease, decay, etc., the mind (manas) such as greed, anger, lust, etc., dravya (family, wealth, property, etc.) and city, town or country (dēśa). On account of destroying these ripus, Parāmbā is referred to as Ripumāriṇī Durgā.
In his youth, this teacher of mine had undertaken a severe prayōga of rRpumāriṇī when a catastrophe had befallen their agrahāram and the honor of several young women was at stake. After performing the connected ritual for three days, he experienced blood dysentery, seizures, and unexplained fires in his household. With faith in Guru and dēvatā, he continued undeterred till he almost reached his deathbed. As he lay semi-conscious, a young girl appeared before him and declared herself to be Bhagavatī from Kottayi and explained to him that he had been reciting some of the bījas in the reverse order. Once he corrected his mantra, all his woes disappeared and his ripu was vanquished.
Interestingly, a dear friend, who is an authority on the school of the Golden Dawn founded by Israel Regardie, mentioned of a similar experience where divine grace had saved him from an energetic collapse when a ritual had ended abruptly.
अखर्वगर्वनिर्वाणमपूर्वं गुह्यमुत्तमम् |
सर्वा सैवास्ति सर्वत्र सर्वमन्त्राक्षरावलिः ||